如何原谅，忘记和放手

如何原谅，忘记和放手【热门】

　　How to Forgive, Forget and Let Go

　　Forgiving someone does not mean releasing them from an earlier guilt. What if the person who wronged you is not living? What if the person is someone who made you extremely embarrassed during school 20 or 30 years ago? Letting go of emotional pain does not mean that nothing happened; it means that you no longer want to be controlled by it.

　　Recognize that forgiveness is not denial. Whatever caused the pain was a real incident. Denying that it happened means itis too painful to work through the emotions. There is no timeline on forgiveness. Some steps take longer to get through, and it is acceptable to set them aside for a period of time. Part of forgiveness is understanding whether or not someone takes responsibility for what happened, and may even show regret.

　　Understand that not everyone who forgives reconcileswith the person who caused the pain. There are relationships that are harmful and even physically dangerous. While it is possible to forgive the past and move beyond it, it may also mean that the person who was involved can no longer play an active role in your life. If a person or a situation is not safe, it may be best not to reconcile the relationship now. Work on forgiveness at a time when you are emotionally healthy and physically safe.

　　Make a conscious decision to forgive someone. Even if they never apologize for what happened, determine within yourself that it is fine to proceed without this apology. Apologies should not be asking for forgiveness. Apologies should be offered as an effort of true regret. They should be admitting that taking personal responsibility for the situation is important. Even without that apology, make up your mind to forgive, forget, and eventually let go.

　　如何原谅，忘记和放手

　　原谅某人并不意味着将他们从先前的罪恶感中释放出来。如果委屈您的人没有生活怎么办？如果此人是让您在20或30年前上学时极度尴尬的人怎么办？放开情感上的痛苦并不意味着什么也没有发生。这意味着您不再希望受到它的控制。

　　认识到宽恕不是否认。造成痛苦的是真正的事件。否认它的发生意味着无法通过情绪工作。没有宽恕的时间表。有些步骤需要更长的时间才能通过，可以将它们搁置一段时间。宽恕的一部分是理解某人是否对所发生的事情负责，甚至可能表示遗憾。

　　请理解，并非每个宽恕者都会与造成痛苦的人和解和好。有些关系是有害的，甚至是人身危险的。尽管可以原谅过去并超越过去，但这也可能意味着参与其中的人不再能够在您的生活中扮演积极的角色。如果某人或某个情况不安全，则最好现在不要和解。在情绪健康和人身安全的时候，请原谅自己。

　　做出有意识的决定来原谅某人。即使他们从未为发生的事情道歉，也要确定自己在没有这种道歉的情况下继续进行是可以的。道歉不应该请求宽恕。道歉应该表示歉意。他们应该承认，对这种情况承担个人责任很重要。即使没有道歉，也要下定决心原谅，忘记并最终放手。

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