篇一：小学英语作文范例及点评
My English Teacher
Miss Tang is my English teacher. She’s very pretty. She is tall and thin. She has two big eyes and a small mouth. Her hair is long. She likes cats very much. And she likes singing and dancing, too. Her English is very good. We often play games in English classes. She is very kind to us. We all love her.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“我的英语老师”，是一篇介绍人物的作文。小作者开门见山，直接点题，首先介绍了英语老师的姓名，然后逐一介绍了她的外貌特征、喜好、英语水平、上课特点以及师生情感等。
小朋友们在写作文时，要注意使用自己最熟悉的词[组]，以免写出一些错句子。写作时要注意意思连贯、语句通顺、标点正确、书写清晰、规范等。
My Days of the week
I’m a student and I am in Grade 5.I get up at six o’clock every day. I have breakfast at half past six, and go to school at seven o’clock. I have classes from Monday to Saturday. I have an English class on Friday and I have a PE class on Tuesday. I don’t have to go to school on weekend, and I like going swimming on that day.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“我的一周”，小作者没有说一些空话，而是从自己的亲身经历写起，叙述了自己一周七天的所作所为，并特别强调了星期天的喜好，写得自然、流畅。小朋友们写作文时要注意人称及谓语动词的变化，要依据提示，结合自己的实际，写自己身边熟悉的事情。
I can help do housework
I am a girl. My name is Li Ling. I’m in Class Three, Grade Five. I’m very helpful at home. I can water the flowers, empty the trash and sweep the floor. After meals, I can help my mother do the dishes. On Sunday, I can wash the clothes. What about youAre you helpful, too
【要领点评】
本篇作文的题目是“我可以帮助做家务”，作者主要叙述自己在家帮助做的事情，介绍自己的名字，所在年级及在家能做的家务，很详细，到位。
小朋友们在写作时，应尽量写一些亲自经历的事情，这样会避免在作文时显得太空，因为只有自己经常做的事情印象才会特别深刻。写作时还要注意大小写和时态。
My Village
My village is very beautiful. There are many houses in the village. Near the village, there is a forest. A small river is in front of the village. The water in it is very clean. We can see some fish in the river. Near the river, you can see a mountain. Some flowers and grass are on the mountain. I like my village. Welcome to my village!
【要领点评】
本文以“我的村庄”为题描述了自己家乡的风景。介绍了村庄的房屋、森林、河流及大山，使人看了这篇作文后确实感觉到“我的村庄”的美丽。小朋友们在写作时，可仔细想一下自己的村庄或所在城市的特点，尽量使用本单元学过的单词或短语进行叙述。
My weekend
There are two days on the weekend, Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday, I often go to my dancing class in the morning and do my homework in the afternoon, and I often help my mother do some cleaning. On Sunday, I always visit my grandparents in the morning and do some reading in the afternoon. After dinner, I often watch TV with my parents. At that time, we can talk with each other and say something happily. We often have a good time.
【要领点评】
写法：这篇习作是按照时间顺序记叙周末的活动，记叙了周六和周日的上午和下午分别做了哪些活动及对活动的感受。即：周六上午：舞蹈课→下午：做作业和帮妈妈做清洁→周日上午：看望祖父母→下午：阅读→晚上：看电视，与父母交流→感受：高兴和愉快。我们还可以选取周六和周日中的几个比较主要的活动来写，先说明什么时间在什么地方由什么人做了什么事，有什么感受。再按照活动顺序把活动内容写清楚，最后抒发一下对这次活动或这个周末的感想。
时态：这篇短文我们可以用三种时态来写：a.一般过去时（主要描述你上个周末是怎样度过的）；b.一般现在时（主要描述你经常怎样度过周末）；c.一般将来时（主要描述你要怎样过周末）。这里我们来表述平时是如何过周末的，所以采用一般现在时来写。
注意：活动的相关表达方法可采用旧知识，eg.（例）起床get up，和新知识，eg. Climb mountains去爬山中的un很容易错写成nu。还要注意不要出现病句，eg. “I often watch TV with my parents.”不要写成 “I often with my parents watch TV .” 词量上控制在50 ~ 80 之间。
My Seasons
We have four seasons in a year. I can do many interesting things in each season. In spring, the weather is cool and windy, I can fly kites when it’s windy. And I can go hiking with my family when it’s sunny and cool. I like hiking. Summer is hot in the north of China, but it’s not long time. I often go swimming. It can make me healthy and strong. I can also wear my beautiful dresses. Fall is a season with harvest. And I can eat delicious fruits in this season. I can watch the leaves fall. Winter comes, it’s often snowy in winter in my hometown. When it snows, everything is white. We can play with snow and make a snowman, skate and ski. And winter is my favourite season, because of the Spring Festival. I love seasons. I love the nature.
【要领点评】
写法：这篇短文是描述“我的四季”，在写法上，是根据春、夏、秋、冬四季的更替来写的，先讲明每个季节的特征，之后再写在这个季节中的主要活动或比较有代表性的活动。同时讲一些自己的真实感受，最后阐述自己最喜欢的季节。在实际的写作的时候我们还可以先写出自己喜爱的季节及主要的活动内容，之后再去讲其他几个季节，还可以多讲解一下地域的季节特征和大自然中的其他景色，如：秋天的田地里一片金黄，农民在收割等等，这样写出来的四季更贴近实际。
时态：这篇习作讲的是“我的四季”，是比较惯常的一些行为，所以我们最好采用一般现在时和情态动词结合活动的写法。即：在什么季节，天气如何，我们可以做什么。
注意：在写作内容上，不可以像以往的内容那么简单，因为有四个季节，所以要写明季节，季节天气，季节性活动，活动的人，活动的感受等，要求句子顺序要正确，在写作中还要注意关联词的使用，如用了“因为”，就不能用“所以”，二者不可以同时出现。词量要控制在80个词以内。
My family
There are five people in my family. They are my grandma, grandpa, dad, mom and I. Look! Grandma is watching TV. Grandpa is reading a book. Dad is writing an e-mail. Mom is cooking dinner. I am doing my homework. I love my family!
【要领点评】
写法：这篇习作介绍了自己家的家庭成员，以及此刻他们正在干什么，表达了自己对家人的感情。
时态：由于本单元主要讲的是现在进行时态，所以建议采用现在进行时态。
句型：主语+be+动词的现在分词。
注意：本单元的重点是现在进行时态，注意在写句子时要保持时态的完整性，即系动词和动词的ing缺一不可。
A Field Trip
It is a nice day. Our class will have a field trip today. The classmates are very excited.
Look! Here we are. There’re a lot of activities to do. Amy is watching insects. Peter is collecting leaves. They want to write a report. Mandy is catching butterflies in the woods. Tim and Bob are playing chess. Some of the classmates are having a picnic. There is a lot of delicious food to eat. Oh, who’s that over thereIt’s Miss White. What is she doingShe is taking photos. We had a very good time. I’ll never forget this field trip.
【要领点评】
写法：这篇习作是按照郊游时的画面来描述的，记叙了同学们分别在郊游中做了哪些活动及郊游的感受。
时态：这篇文章可以用一般过去时和现在进行时来写。由于本单元主要讲的是现在进行时，所以，这里我们采用现在进行时比较合适。
句型：××. is/are doing sth. She /He is doing sth. They’re doing sth.
注意：活动的相关表述法采用新旧知识相结合去写。注意时态的转换、描写感受时用一般现在时。
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it. She reads English every morning. She likes speaking English. She often listens to the radio. She watches TV only on Saturday evening.
Does she like dancingNo, she doesn’t. But she likes drawing and singing. Her parents love her. And all the teachers and her friends like her, too. She says her hobbies make her happy.
【要领点评】
这一篇写爱好的文章,小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习,他没有具体写到刘莹的某一种爱好,而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手,对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画.从“爱好”这个角度来看刘莹的话，我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。
小朋友们写这种“叙事写人”作文时，可以从两个角度下手：一是具体地描绘；二是和上面小朋友一样，粗线条地勾画，二者各有所长，另处在行文中使用一些问句，使用一些转述的话，可以使作文更有灵气，避免了平铺直叙的缺点。比如上文的“Does she like dancingNo, she doesn’t.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不错的句子，使读者眼前为之一亮。
Don’t be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning .I must cross two busy roads .If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the road ,so I wait.
If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road .I always ride on the right side of the road .I am never against the traffic rules.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”，小作者没有说一些空话，而是从自己的经历写起，叙述自己以什么方式去上学，在上学的路上是怎么做的，很形象。
小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大，那样很容易使文章显得空洞，而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小写、句子的标点符号等。
I Love My Family
Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.
My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She works in a school near my home. She goes to work by bike. After work, they like reading books. Who is the tall boyHe is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer. He’s now in Beijing. He goes there by plane.
I love my family.
【要领点评】
一个平凡的题材，一篇生动的作文。这样的命题，我们可能面对几次，甚至几十次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧，了了数言，让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上，很值得我们去思考，我们能做到吗？
小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外，在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说，将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍，后分说，把家人的工作、上班方式，爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行概括，起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢？
How to get to the science museum
We are going to the science museum tomorrow. There is an old thing show in the Museum. Do you know how we can get to the science museum
The science museum is next to the People’s Park. It’s isn’t far from our school. So we can go there on foot .Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights. You can find the People’s Park on the right . Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.
【要领点评】
这篇作文的题目是“怎样去科学博物馆”。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢？通过你的叙述，能让别人很容易找到博物馆，这应是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢？首先他写了去博物馆的位置，最后浓墨重彩，指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线，这条路线够清晰吧！
小朋友们在写这类作文的时候，总有些无从下手的感觉，不知从何说起。其实介绍路线，无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点，还有就是如何从起点走到终点。要给他人说清楚，你自己首先得清楚，然后再通过自己的叙述，将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。一定要注意行文中一些关键的地方，如在哪儿转弯，向哪儿转，经过哪些重要的交通标志或显眼的标志建筑等。这样，你就能说清，别人也能弄明白。
Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow .I’m going to the bookstore with my friends tomorrow morning .We are going to look for some good books .We all like reading books .We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant. I like chicken, beef and
vegetables .After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus. We are going to play near the Kunming Lake. Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake .Wow, that will be relaxing. We are coming back at 5pm.
【要领点评】
怎样才称得上是“美好的一天”？有两点不能忘记，一是安排得充实，二是安排得有意义。这两点小作者无疑都想到了，上午去书店看书买书，中午在饭店吃饭，下午去颐和园玩耍、划船，丰富多彩！文章以时间为线索，叙述清楚，文笔也很优美。
小朋友们在写这种叙事的文章时，要尽量给读者交代好时间、地点、人物和活动等，使文章有血有肉。要看好是写过去发生的事情，还是现在正在做的事情，或计划、打算要做的事情，以选择适当的句型。如果是写将来的事情，那么就要注意在表述时多用
“be going to+动词原形”这种句型。还有一点也很重要，那就是故事的线索要交代好，让读者在阅读时对整个过程一目了然。
篇二：小学英语作文范例及点评
Li Ying ’S Hobby
Li Ying likes English very much. She works hard at it. She reads English every morning. She likes speaking English. She often listens to the radio. She watches TV only on Saturday evening.
Does she like dancingNo, she doesn’t. But she likes drawing and singing. Her parents love her. And all the teachers and her friends like her, too. She says her hobbies make her happy.
【要领点评】 这一篇写爱好的文章,小作者的写作思路很值得我们学习,他没有具体写到刘莹的某一种爱好,而是从学习到课余的多种爱好入手,对刘莹的各种爱好进行了粗线条地勾画.从“爱好”这个角度来看刘莹的话，我们会觉得这个形象很饱满。 小朋友们写这种“叙事写人”作文时，可以从两个角度下手：一是具体地描绘；二是和上面小朋友一样，粗线条地勾画，二者各有所长，另处在行文中使用一些问句，使用一些转述的话，可以使作文更有灵气，避免了平铺直叙的缺点。比如上文的“Does she like dancingNo, she doesn’t.”和“she says her hobbies make her happy.”就是十分不错的句子，使读者眼前为之一亮。
Don’t be against the traffic rules
I go to school from Monday to Friday .I go to school by bike at 7:30 in the morning .I must cross two busy roads .If the traffic light is red or yellow,I know I can’t cross the road ,so I wait.
If the light turns green, I know it means “Go”, and then I walk across the road .I always ride on the right side of the road .I am never against the traffic rules.
【要领点评】这篇作文的题目是“不要违反交通规则”，小作者没有说一些空话，而是从自己的经历写起，叙述自己以什么方式去上学，在上学的路上是怎么做的，很形象。小朋友们在作文时注意不要图大，那样很容易使文章显得空洞，而要写自己身边熟悉的事情。要注意行文中字母的大小写、句子的标点符号等。
I Love My Family
Here is a photo lf my family. These are four people in my family. They are my father, my mother, my brother and I.
My father is a doctor. He works in a hospital far away. He goes to work by subway. My mother is a teacher. She works in a school near my home. She
goes to work by bike. After work, they like reading books. Who is the tall boyHe is my brother. He is five years older than me. He is a singer. He’s now in Beijing. He goes there by plane.
I love my family.
【要领点评】 一个平凡的题材，一篇生动的作文。这样的命题，我们可能面对几次，甚至几十次了。但这位小朋友的笔端很是灵巧，了了数言，让一个幸福的家庭跃然纸上，很值得我们去思考，我们能做到吗？小朋友的这篇作文除了语言优美之外，在结构上也有闪光之处。先总说，将自己的家人逐个介绍一遍，后分说，把家人的工作、上班方式，爱好一一细说。最后以一句话进行概括，起到点题的作用。我们在写类似的作文的时候是不是也可以借鉴呢？
How to get to the science museum
We are going to the science museum tomorrow. There is an old thing show in the Museum. Do you know how we can get to the science museum
The science museum is next to the People’s Park. It’s isn’t far from our
school. So we can go there on foot .Walk straight to the west from our school, next turn left at the post office and walk for about 5 minutes, then turn right at traffic lights. You can find the People’s Park on the right . Walk straight, and you’ll see the science museum.
【要领点评】 这篇作文的题目是“怎样去科学博物馆”。怎样才算是一篇好作文呢？通过你的叙述，能让别人很容易找到博物馆，这应是最基本的要求。小作者在文中告诉我们什么呢？首先他写了去博物馆的位置，最后浓墨重彩，指明从学校去博物馆的具体路线，这条路线够清晰吧！小朋友们在写这类作文的时候，总有些无从下手的感觉，不知从何说起。其实介绍路线，无非就是告诉他人某段路的起点和终点，还有就是如何从起点走到终点。要给他人说清楚，你自己首先得清楚，然后再通过自己的叙述，将路线清清楚楚得呈现出来。一定要注意行文中一些关键的地方，
如在哪儿转弯，向哪儿转，经过哪些重要的交通标志或显眼的标志建筑等。这样，你就能说清，别人也能弄明白。
Planting Trees
It’s spring. It’s time to plant trees.
I want to plant a tree in our garden. Dad and Mum are very happy. They like green. Dad helps me plant the tree. First, we dig the soil. Then I put a
little tree into the soil. Next I water it. I am so excited and I wait for the tree to grow. Two weeks later, my tree has some little leaves. I water it every day. Now it has lots of leaves. It grows fast.
We should plant more trees. They make our world beautiful.
【要领点评】 小作者写了一次植树的经历，但他并没有单纯拘泥于植树的过程。既有过程，也有感觉，能使文章打动读者，给人以启发。作文的最后一段就非常好，两句话胜似千言万语。我们可以学习一下这种写法。 既描述过程，又适时提自己的看法或想法的写法，在作文中叫做“夹叙夹议”,描述过程为了提出一种思想服务，提出看法或想法使原本平实的描述有了意义。我们在以后的写作中也可以试一试。
Let’s have a nice day
It’s Sunday tomorrow .I’m going to the bookstore with my friends
tomorrow morning .We are going to look for some good books .We all like reading books .We are going to eat our lunch at the restaurant. I like chicken, beef and vegetables .After lunch, we are going to the Summer Palace by bus. We are going to play near the Kunming Lake. Maybe we are going to row a boat on the lake .Wow, that will be relaxing. We are coming back at 5pm.
【要领点评】 怎样才称得上是“美好的一天”？有两点不能忘记，一是安排得充实，二是安排得有意义。这两点小作者无疑都想到了，上午去书店看书买书，中午在饭店吃饭，下午去颐和园玩耍、划船，丰富多彩！文章以时间为线索，叙述清楚，文笔也很优美。 小朋友们在写这种叙事的文章时，要尽量给读者交代好时间、地点、人物和活动等，使文章有血有肉。要看好是写过去发生的事情，还是现在正在做的事情，或计划、打算要做的事情，以选择适当的句型。如果是写将来的事情，那么就要注意在表述时多用“be going to+动词原形”这种句型。还有一点也很重要，那就是故事的线索要交代好，让读者在阅读时对整个过程一目了然。
[小学英语作文范例及点评]