To be heard you have to make people like you. You need to create chemistry with your staff as a manager, with your team as a project leader, with your boss, with your customer, with your strategic partners. People believe people they like. That's not a news bulletin. Great communicators develop the "likeability factor"—your personality and the "chemistry" you create between yourself and others.
想要别人听你说话，你得先让人家喜欢你。经理得和员工相处融洽;项目组长需要和队友、老板、顾客、战略伙伴合作默契。人们相信他们喜欢的人。这不是新闻。好的交流者能产生出“亲和力”——这来自你的个性和你制造的融洽感觉。
Just as many roads lead to success in the workplace, many different personalities attract followers. But the following traits seem universally to attract people and open their minds and hearts.
职场上通往成功的道路有很多条，吸引人的个性也有很多种。但是下面的品质似乎在吸引人、打开别人思维和心胸方面具有普遍性。
Be Vulnerable, Show Your Humanity
脆弱，展现出你的“有血有肉”的一面
In speaker training 101, people learn to tell failure stories before success stories. Generally, audiences have more in common with those who struggle than those who succeed in life. If you worry about whether your teen will graduate from high school without getting involved with the wrong group, say so. If your father-in-law drove you nuts during the holiday weekend, it's okay to mention to your colleagues on Monday morning that you might not have been the storybook spouse. If you lose a customer, regret it rather than excuse it. If you miss a deadline, repair the damage and catch up.
在演讲者基础训练中，人们学习在讲述成功故事之前讲述失败故事。一般来说，相对于成功人士，听众和那些逆境挣扎的人更有共鸣。如果你担心自己的小孩在高中误入歧途，那么就说出来。如果你的岳父在周末让你抓狂，那么周一的早晨可以告诉你的同事们你也许不是个模范伴侣;如果你失去了一位顾客，宁可后悔也不要找借口;如果你误了时限，弥补损失，迎头赶上。
People respond to humans much more favorably than machines. When you communicate with colleagues, never fear to let them see your humanity.
人和人的沟通比人和机器的沟通要友善。当你和同事们交流时，绝不要害怕让他们看到你人性的一面。
Be Courteous 讲礼貌
Day in and day out, it's the small things that kill our spirit: The sales rep who empties his cold coffee and leaves the splatters all over the sink. The manager who uses the last drop of lotion and doesn't refill the container. The analyst who walks away from the printer, leaving the red light flashing "paper jam." The boss who walks into the reserved conference room in the middle of a meeting and bumps everybody out for an “urgent” strategic planning meeting. The person who cuts in line at the cafeteria cash register. The guy who answers his cell phone and tries to carry on a conversation out loud in the middle of a meeting.
日复一日，让我们崩溃的都是小事情：销售代表将冷掉的咖啡倒入水池，溅得里边到处都是的;经理用光最后一滴洗手液，却不重新把瓶子装满的;分析员从打印机旁离开，却让它闪烁着红色“卡纸”灯;老板闯进正在开会的会议室，把大家都赶出来，为“紧急”战略规划会议腾出地方;有人在餐厅收银台插队;有个男的在会议中接手机，并大声讲电话。
As a result, even the smallest courtesies kindle a fire that ignites chemistry and builds kinship. The courtesy of saying "hello" when you come into the office after being away. The courtesy of letting people know when you're going to be away for an extended period. The courtesy of honoring policies about reserving rooms, spaces, and equipment for activities. The courtesy of a simple "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome" for small favors.
结果，即便最小的礼貌也会激发融洽感、点燃亲密的“火焰”。比如回到办公室时说声“嗨”;不能按时赶回来时，要和别人说一声;遵守关于为活动预留房间、空间、设备的规定;对小的恩惠给予一个简单的“请”、“谢谢”、“不客气”。
Share a Sense of Humor 分享你的幽默感
No matter whether people agree or disagree with George W. Bush's political positions they typically admire his self-deprecating humor. At one of the Washington correspondent's dinners, that ability to poke fun at himself seemed to be the primary thing the media responded to favorably. Bush said at the lectern, "I always enjoy these events. But why couldn't I have dinner with the 36 percent of the people who like me?" At one such event, Bush even brought along his "double" comedian Steve Bridges, to make fun of his frequent mispronunciations. The double modeled for him one of his most difficult words to pronounce correctly, "Nu—cle—ar proliferation … nu—cle—ar proliferation. Nu—cle—ar proliferation." Then Bush tried it, "Nu-cle—ar pro-boblieration." The crowd went wild.