Man and Woman

学人智库 时间:2018-02-08 我要投稿
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  Smart(精明的) man + smart woman = romance

  Smart man + dumb(愚蠢的) woman = pregnancy(怀孕)

  Dumb man + smart woman = affair

  Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

  Smart boss + smart employee = profit

  Smart boss + dumb employee = production

  Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

  Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

  To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

  To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

  Married men lived longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

  A woman has the last word in any argument.

  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

  There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

  Women love cats.

  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

  A woman will dress up to go shopping, empty the garbage, and get the mail.

  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

  Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

  Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

  A woman knows all about her children, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

  Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

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