今天跟大家推荐一篇经典美文：如何在失败中找到快乐，希望你会喜欢。
The introduction to a self-help book is almost always a spoiler: In the chapters that follow, you, the reader, will learn how to get a promotion, make a better first impression, save your marriage, or lower your cholesterol. This will lead to happiness.
一本自助类图书的序言几乎总会吐露出书中的讯息：在接下来的章节中，作为读者的你将学习如何获得晋升，给人留下更好的第一印象，挽救婚姻或降低胆固醇的技巧，本书将为你铺就一条通往幸福的康庄大道云云。
The Antidote diverges from this theme. In the first chapter, author Oliver Burkeman explains that after years of reporting on the field of psychology, he has concluded that "the effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable." Armed with this thesis, Burkeman sets out to explore various alternatives to this effort, which he calls the negative paths to happiness.
但《解毒剂：无法忍受积极思维的人如何获得幸福》( The Antidote: Happiness For People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking)一书与这类主题背道而驰。在第一章中，作者奥利弗伯克曼解释称，在从事了多年心理学领域的报道之后，他得出了一项结论：“很多情况下，为获得幸福感而付出的努力恰恰使我们陷入痛苦之中。”秉持这个观点，伯克曼着手探索各种不同于这种努力的替代方案，他将其称为通往幸福的消极路径。
He asks questions. Are these negative paths too extreme for the average person to implement? Can a successful reorientation to a negative path be achieved gradually (I will try to accept humiliation as inevitable), or does it have to be sudden and drastic (I will actively humiliate myself, over and over, in order to diminish my ego)?
他问了一些问题。于普通人而言，这些消极路径是否太过极端，以至于难以付诸行动?成功地重新定位至一条消极路径能否逐步实施(被人羞辱估计是不可避免的，我已准备好了)?它是否肯定会是突然而剧烈的(我将积极且反复地羞辱我自己，以减少我的自我意识)?
The Antidote has been reviewed several times over the course of the past few months. In an effort to separate my review from the others, I'm tempted to talk about myself. Like many recent college graduates working as underpaid interns, I sometimes feel out-of-sorts. Reading this book on my morning commute convinced me that failure is both inevitable and beneficial. But to dwell on my personal circumstances would be to fall into a trap that this book manages, effortlessly, to avoid.
过去几个月以来，媒体上已经出现了多篇与《解毒剂》一书有关的书评。为了使我的这篇书评展现出不一样的特色，我想先谈谈我自己。一如许多刚刚走出校门，从事待遇微薄的实习生工作的大学生，我有时心情很差，总想发脾气。在早上上班途中读完这本书后，我确信，失败不仅是难以避免的，也是有益的。但过分沉溺于自身处境，将落入本书试图以毫不费力的方式设法避免的陷阱之中。
In a chapter titled "The Hidden Benefits of Insecurity, " Burkeman describes the human tendency to avoid insecurity and uncertainty at all costs. "But in chasing all that, " he adds, "we close down the very faculties that permit the happiness we crave." Here you might expect Burkeman to discuss the time he took an unfulfilling job that promised economic security, or the time he turned down a trip to Spain because he didn't speak Spanish. Instead he quotes the 20th century Catholic monk and mystic Thomas Merton, author of The Seven Story Mountain: "The truth that many people never understand, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you." Burkeman speaks to his audience in a way that establishes trust. He is a dutiful researcher and a listener. He quotes experts.
在“不安全的潜在好处”(The Hidden Benefits of Insecurity)这个章节中，伯克曼描述了人类不惜一切代价，竭力避免不安全感和不确定性的倾向。“但在追逐所有这些目标的过程中，”他补充说。“我们恰恰关闭了那种使我们渴望的幸福成为可能的官能。”读到此处，你或许预期伯克曼将讨论他的过往经历：他从事过一份不称心、但应该会带来经济安全感的工作，也曾由于不会说西班牙语而放弃一个去西班牙旅行的机会。但他没有。他引用了20世纪天主教僧侣、《七层山》(The Seven Story Mountain)一书作者、神秘的托马斯默顿的一段话：“一个许多人怎么也搞不明白的事实是，越竭力避免受苦，就会遭受越多的苦难，因为一些更加琐碎且微不足道的事情会开始折磨你。”伯克曼以一种能够建立信任感的方式与他的听众沟通。他是一位尽职的研究者，一位倾听者。他所引述的，是专家的意见。
This is how we get to know Burkeman -- as a curious journalist rooting around for an argument, not as a born-again guru who uses his own story of suffering and healing to prove the validity of his personal brand of self-improvement. In each chapter he sits down with someone who has dedicated his or her professional life to exploring a particular negative path to happiness. He punctuates each interview with clear prose about human traits that make a negative path to happiness difficult to adopt. For example, in a chapter on methods for embracing failure, he writes bluntly that "perfectionism, at bottom, is fear-driven striving … [at] its extremes, it is an exhausting and permanently stressful way to live."
这正是我们了解伯克曼的方式：他是一位好奇心重、四处翻找论据的记者，而不是一位重生的大师——他讲述了自己陷入和摆脱痛苦的经历，以此证明他所宣扬的自我改善方式的确有效。他在每个章节中都讲述了一个人的故事，这些人毕其职业生涯，探求一条通往幸福的消极路径。每次访谈中，他总是以清晰的文笔凸显那些使得通往幸福的消极路径难以付诸行动的人性特点。比如，在一个论述如何坦然接受失败的章节中，他直言不讳地写道：“完美主义，究其根本而言，是一种受恐惧感驱动的抗争。往极端里说，它是一种使人筋疲力尽，时刻让人承受重压的生活方式。”
In the chapter on the danger of setting too many goals, Burkeman recounts meeting a man named Steve Shapiro in a bar in the West Village. Shapiro is a consultant who travels around the country hosting self-help seminars for business audiences. Unlike most consultants, Shapiro preaches against goal setting. He found this calling at a time when his obsession with career advancement had ruined his marriage. He argues that once you abandon the five-year-plan approach to life and business, you immediately have more focus and energy for the present moment. Pretty soon you are spending more time with your family and performing better at work.
在论述设定太多目标所导致的危险性的章节中，伯克曼讲述了一位咨询师的故事。这位名叫史蒂夫夏皮罗的咨询师是他在西村(West Village，西村是具有反叛精神的各类先锋艺术家的汇聚之地——译注)一家酒吧中遇到的。夏皮罗经常在美国各地主持各类以商界人士为受众、探讨如何自助的研讨会。不同于大多数咨询师，夏皮罗建议职场人士不要为自己设定太多的目标。夏皮罗因为过于迷恋职务晋升、最终导致破裂之后悟出了这个道理。他声称，一旦放弃你为自己的人生和事业设定的5年规划，你就会马上把更多的注意力和精力放在当下的事务上。很快，你就可以花更多的时间与家人在一起，你的工作表现也将大有改观。